The Rotten Apples of Rock
December 13, 2006 by Jo Minor
Axl Rose. Lars Ulrich. Kurt Cobain. What do these people have in common? Come on, take a wild guess…damn, you guys are pathetic! Actually, they have almost nothing in common but they are probably the most hated trio in rock ‘n roll.
Why, you ask?
Let’s start off with Axl Rose. One time front man of the original Guns ‘N Roses lineup (and only original member of the current one) Axl makes all the other troublesome rock singers look like nuns. I can’t deny that the man has an exceptional vocal range but his homosexual-looking fashion sense is already a good enough reason to hate the man - but it goes way deeper than that.
I’ll have to make a chronological list of what he did at only ONE concert to show you what a bastard he is.
1. Threatens a fan who is videotaping the show
2. Threats fall on deaf ears; Axl jumps into the crowd and starts punching the fan
3. Security personnel splits them up; Axl gets back on stage
4. Axl verbally attacks the security for not doing their job; and walks off stage soon after
5. Band follows Axl off stage; fans revolt and cause widespread rioting
6. Axl & Co. hide in a van until things cool off
Fans will hate him even more for not disbanding GNR when the other members started leaving (any true GNR fan will tell you that there is no GNR without Slash) and recruiting an eccentric posse of musicians to replace them. The latest GNR album, strangely titled Chinese Democracy, is the most expensive album NOT released - it’s been in the works for years and has swallowed a production cost of over US $13 million. Adding salt to the wound, Axl is still insisting the album will be released soon - he has said that for years without any trace of an album launch in sight.
Currently touring with an unrecognizable and equally uninteresting GNR lineup, Axl seems like the best example of the delusional, pompous rocker.
Next up is Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich. This man has a history of being an asshole - he started early when he stole the name “Metallica†from a magazine editor companion of his who was going to use the name for a future publication. Not content with that, he played a huge role in the firing of the extremely-talented guitarist Dave Mustaine from the band. Lars and front man James Hetfield got Dave piss-drunk at a binge one night, and dropped him and all his equipment off at a bus station the following morning. Dave’s replacement Kirk Hammett from the Thrash Metal band Exodus was flown in shortly after. Dave soon founded rival band Megadeth, and has recently written a song in honor of his ex-friend entitled Something That I’m Not.
Wait, there’s more. Lars was also Napster’s fiercest enemy - he even went on to print a list of hundreds of users he threatened to sue for downloading his bands’ songs. A multi-millionaire musician intimidating a penniless bunch of college kids - real mature, Lars.
Fans were outraged at this - some even went as far as destroying Metallica CDs. Lars will never be forgotten for tarnishing the image and reputation of one of the world’s biggest bands.
This last character isn’t even alive, but Kurt Cobain deserves a mentioning here for making suicide seem like an option out of life’s issues.
Kurt’s meteoric rise to fame in the grunge-era-of-decay in the 90s was followed by a destructive fall. His band Nirvana reached near-impossible heights - a factor that took its toll on Kurt as well. The pressure of being in a breakthrough band of the genre, and perhaps even his marriage to big-time-bitch Courtney Love, drove Kurt into manic depression bouts - one of which involved an insane amount of drugs and a shotgun.
Some people believe he was murdered, some still stick to the more rational theory of suicide - but the fact remains that he will always be remembered as “that rock guy who shot himself.†Kurt’s demise was a tragic and unfortunate incident for rock music in general, more than it was to fans of grunge. We don’t need another negative stereotype - we don’t want to be labeled as losers who take the easy way out of things.
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