Zakk Wylde: One Too Many Words
February 21, 2007 by Jo Minor
When a word comes out of Zakk Wylde’s mouth, it’s a word too many.
Zakk Wylde, born Jeffrey Wielandt, is the famous axe-wielding Viking warrior look-alike who also happens to be the Prince of Darkness Ozzy Osbourne’s band mate. While he is a skillful musician, blessed with decent vocal chords and has the versatility of a multi-instrumentalist (think a heavy metal Kitaro), Zakk Wylde usually gets in the limelight for all the wrong reasons.
The metal and rock media have documented the man’s highest and lowest points in his life - as a musician and a person - thus far, and I bring to you some of the man’s best and worst characteristics. Actually, just the worst - where’s the fun in writing about the good side of someone?
Attitude
Zakk Wylde has the persona and attitude of a drunken sailor - usually spicing up his interviews and conversations with profanities worthy of an angry football coach. His limited vocabulary - constantly referring to most people other than himself and the Dark One (who is, coincidentally, also the Godfather of his children) as “pussies”. Ouch.
He once spat beer in the face of the great (and now sober) James Hetfield - who had the decency to actually come by Zakk’s trailer for a jam - and called him “pussy”. He did all that just because James let go of the bottle for good after a successful rehab. If only he stopped living in his own world and gave James the respect he deserves.
Vocabulary
Zakk Wylde is a boring, boring man.
He is about as interesting as a doormat when he gives interviews, and is known to repeat the most ridiculous and inane things imaginable. He answers almost every question with “I only know how to play guitar, drink beer and fuck my wife.”
I guess that explains a lot, doesn’t it?
Appearance
Close your eyes and imagine an angry Viking warrior, decked out in a leather vest with a guitar wrapped around his body with a thick chain. That’s Zakk Wylde.
Ooh, he is all man, isn’t he?
He acts like a Neanderthal, still grunting and being defensive about almost everything - yet, when Sharon Osbourne (beloved wife of Ozzy Osbourne/egomaniacal control freak) asked Zakk to trim his beard for a photo shoot, he didn’t have a word of protest ready for her. Sharon also stated that his stinking beard was messy and had bits of anchovies stuck to it - and for someone who lies and exaggerates so much, I actually think she was telling it as it was this time.
Wife
We have no clue how Zakk’s wife is like, but according to reports she actually punched him at least once during a heated argument - that must say a lot about her size, considering the fact that Zakk looks and acts like a gorilla!
After said argument, he was so angry that he threw his Zakk Wylde Signature Gisbon Les Paul almost the distance of the stage he and his band Black Label Society (more on this soon) were on, and walked off stage. Someone needs anger management!
Black Label Society
When they first appeared on the metal scene, we actually thought that we had another decent and listenable American metal band in our hands. But, it was too good to be true.
Zakk Wylde’s Black Label Society had a couple of OK albums, and some neat songs - but that’s where it stops.
Their last two albums were total duds, and Black Label Society has dropped below the radar for quite some time. Zakk Wylde is, of course, the songwriter, vocalist and guitarist of Black Label Society - and credit is given to the man for writing some decent material with them - but where the hell have the goods disappeared to, man?
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